i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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