I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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