I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
