You can't special order awesome
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
