for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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