i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
