i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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