Me. At least after what I've been through.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
