best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
