Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
