Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
God I need to hump something, right now.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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