just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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