theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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