What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
