There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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