I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
