I wish I only lived at night.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
