once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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