i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
