Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
