just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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