Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
God, I missed his penis.
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