I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
