areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize