took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
