I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
