Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
