there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
