Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize