Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
