It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize