so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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