Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
