It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
