wanna go halves on a baby?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
