i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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