I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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