Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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