Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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