the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
