So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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