Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
