I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
