yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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