hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
