So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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