I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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