how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
