she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
