don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
