Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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