Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
