dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
