I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Come see our sink grown plant.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
