So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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