Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
