Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
