I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
