I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
