Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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