i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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