Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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