Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
