I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
