at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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