Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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