Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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